Relationships.

I will possess your heart

Hello this is my first Blog so be gentle! I wrote this blog as a challenge from a friend, I was allowed to pick any topic so I decided to pick relationships. I am aware that I have not had alot of experience in this area of life but I believe that does not dispel me from being able to comment on it. As is such this is a comment and is based upon my own views on the conduct between Men and Women. It may in all honesty be complete rubbish but I will let you be the judge of that.

 In this case I am talking about the heart.  As a male species of the world we see things in a very different way to women on pretty much every issue presented to modern day humanity.  This is very true in the way of Love and how as men we react to women and in terms of how we treat women.  Men see things in a square box, women see things in a round room. This means that when a man is done with an issue he turns the corner and starts something new, for a woman this may not be the case and they may think that the issue is not over and the discussion about the issue may certainly not be over. The point I am trying to make here is that we are different people as sexes, and as a result will think about situations differently. I think this is most evident in the way of love and the way that men interact with women as a result.

A man's heart reacts differently to that of a woman in many regards. In generations past it was more associated that the women was the one in the relationship who showed her feelings while the man was seen as a tough individual who did not show his emotions. However, that has changed dramatically for this generation of men and women. Due to the rise of Feminism it has led to a crisis of masculinity (according to some), as a result men of this generation are a lot more expressive in their emotions than previous generations. As a result this is affecting the way that relationships are conducted. Because of this difference in the way men are it has meant that men are afraid to take steps forward and boldly say that he is interested in a girl, I have met many men who have been this way . I have also met other men who have been over the top in their approach to women and the see that their status as a man is based upon the amount of women they are involved with. I believe both are unhealthy.

If you receive that honour which should be held high, that of a girls heart, you need to realise what you have in your hands. A girl does not easily give her whole heart to a boy and so as men we need to realise the gravity of when she does.  It is not right for a man to mess with the emotions of a girl, especially if you do not fully give your heart to her as well. As men we need to realise that a girl is not just a girl, she is a daughter of God.

The majority of us are looking for that special someone or just a decent girl. In our search for this holy grail known to some as "The One" we can leave a certain amount of wreckage in our quest. As men we can string girls along until something better comes along, this is not the way men should conduct themselves when engaging in relationships with women. As men we can be oblivious to what extent our actions have upon a girl. She may really like you and the feelings may not be reciprocated, that is fair enough, but he must make sure she knows that it is not a 2 way street. If the guy does not feel the same, no matter what that girl does he is not going to change his mind. So girls don't put yourself in a position where you will look stupid and in all probability get hurt.

Equally guys need to be honest with the girl, if you don't like her as more than a friend and are not willing to take it further, don't string her along. Grow a pair and tell her. It will cause a lot less heartache, mess and time wasted on both sides of the playing field. Girls (to my knowledge) like honesty, they like to know that if you do like them they are chosen for a reason and are not just picked off a list of carefully calculated phone numbers.  As men we need to be righteous in our approach, Pulling then on the heart strings of the girl with no intention of playing the full instrument is cowardly, dishonest and cruel. I don't know about you but I do not want to be these things.

The main problem is a lack of communication on both sides, guys if you like a girl TELL HER. Girls are smart but if you don't tell her straight up your misrepresenting yourself. And this will cause more problems in the long run. It is a man's responsibility to make the first move and take the initiative, You want to get to know the girl more? Take her out for coffee and make sure you have enough money to pay for both you and her. As one time I didn't and it was very embarrassing. 

I turn my attention to the girls now, again my limited experience I have found that women like men to pursue them (so I'm told), this is all well and good but ladies if you like being pursued make sure that you like the guy back. It's not fair to lead a man on without letting him know that he has a shot, honesty is the name of the game here. A guy can pursue till he's blue in the face but if you don't give him an opportunity to do that by meeting up with him or getting to know him face to face (not on Blackberry Instant messenger )it's just not going to happen. I have myself have had experience in this and it is not a great feeling.  

I would say that I am no master of philosophy or cultivator of men's hearts or the way they should be. I will leave that to men and women of immensely greater knowledge and experience. I am but a drop in the ocean who is echoing something much bigger than himself. If you take away anything from this blog take away this, Honesty is key. Guys if you like a girl make it known that you do and then act upon it as men we need to be the ones taking the initiative and asking a girl out for a coffee or a date. Girls if you know a guy likes you be honest with him about how you feel, if you don't like him that's fine but make sure he knows that because to string him along is deceitful and potentially hurtful. 

Possession is an interesting word, it defines that a man or a woman has control or ownership of something, I hope to one day posses the heart of a beautiful girl who is a daughter of God and that she will posses my heart also, but I realise that I must treat her with the upmost respect from the moment I start to pursue her. I hope that one day you will possess a boy or a girls heart and that you will come to see that what you have in your possession is something greater than anything you can imagine. I await the day when I finally get mine :)

A great podcast on the issues of relationships is done by a guy called Pastor Tim Lucas of Liquid church in America. You can get this free on itunes. I welcome any feedback so please feel free to email me your thoughts.